Universal Pictures bought the rights to make Lego movies, but that didn’t include the rights to any of the popular characters from The Lego Movie or its spin-offs. Those stayed with Warner Brothers (even though WB can no longer use Lego, so those characters are functionally dead).

Universal also didn’t get the rights to any of the franchise characters typically associated with Lego, so they can’t use Boba Fett, or Batman, or Gandalf, or Harry Potter, or even Jack Sparrow.

So they’re sitting on this huge IP and have no way to actually use it. And so Pharrell comes along and says he wants to make a documentary about himself, and they say nah that’s boring, nobody wants to see that. Then someone realizes they’re going to lose the rights to Lego if they don’t make a movie with them soon. And here we are.

Maybe it’s time to admit that you are bad at this and you should do something else besides trying to run a business. It’s clearly not your forte.

This is pretty good satire, and I gotta give you props for sticking to the bit, LunchMoneyThief.

Happy workers stay longer and don’t leave rotting fish in the vents right before quitting out of frustration.

Give it to me.

Well that’s pretty rude. Kathy Bates is an attractive person and doesn’t deserve this kind of slander.

I hope you’re referring to the unfinished compilation Salmon of Doubt as the sixth, and not that weak sub-fanfic tripe by Eoin Colfer.

Lamb was great! Really does a fantastic job of highlighting the hypocrisy inherent in modern religious constructs.

Godel, Escher, Bach
Infinite Jest
The Lord of the Rings
The Demon-Haunted World
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Slaughterhouse-Five
Small Gods
Master and Commander

and everything else written by those authors.

The first two or three on that list might take several fits and starts to get through, YMMV, but they are WELL worth the effort, and you will come out the other side changed by the experience. The others are all pretty easily digestible, but no less transformative.

Would explain an awful lot about the state of cinema lately.

Now that one I will watch, because it’s bound to be fascinating regardless of how bad it is.

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It’s not bold to assume that, actually.

I mean, it is fucking boring.

Saving this to annoy my children.

Hard not to be cynical when we’re treated like shit because our parents, grandparents, and dipshit neighbors keep enabling the billionaire oligarchs in stealing our money and our time. Yeah I’m fucking cynical, mate.

Had one that let you accumulate one sick day per month, but if you didn’t use them they rolled over. First few years I didn’t use all of them, and then one year I used thirteen sick days in one year (most of them for kids home sick from school) and got lightly scolded for it in a performance review.

I wanted to say “Bitch why do you allow rollover at all if you don’t want us using more than we can possibly accumulate in one year?!” Looked it up in the contract and it said nothing at all about maximum sick days usable in a year. Of course if you have sick days left when you leave, they pay out at one third, but FUCK that, I earned that time, I’m not taking a one third payout. And they didn’t EVER give merit raises for those years I barely called out sick.

So the next year I took even MORE sick days, and afterwards made sure not to leave any unused, even if I wasn’t sick, because fuck them.

I just do a standard word search for things like “soul”, “possessions”, and “first born” before clicking Agree.

She’s 14, you weirdos.

Find a better instance, I beg you.