Spouse and kids left, or are they just out of town?

Imagine Dragons could do Princes of The Universe some justice.

Money.

Imagine giving your kid a rap name in the hopes that they would become a famous rapper, and lil’ Keemo turns out to be some dumb pediatric oncologist.

That is because of the brown sprinkles.

My favorite flavor is itching.

One that doesn’t know she has bladder control issues.

Instructions unclear, now have yeast infection.

If you read the instructions, that is for body hair and not your lady junk and starfish. You are also suppose to test the hair melting cream out on a small spot to make sure you don’t have an abnormal reaction. There is a nair for sensitive areas. You will have to wait it out.

The burning will stop, but things may get pretty gnarly looking and you will want to apply a moisturizing lotion to help with dry skin or scabs. You may want to seek medical care if it is like road rash bad or doesn’t calm the fuck down.

Dewayo is going to the mooooon. Just hold out and you will see Lambo, everybody is sleeping on that and once the halving happens, you will laugh all the way to the beachfront villa.

I swore at rocks all morning and nobody is accepting cursed stones for groceries. I haven’t tried Walmart, should I try there?

I would absolutely be a wendigo bag holder and lose track of where my skinwalker is.

Kill a half hour working out and/or go for a jog. You don’t even need weight, just do bodyweight.

Take up hiking, it is nearly free, you get sun and exercise. You can even take a trash bag with you and clean up litter.

Find someone to stalk and murder.

Fishing is a great and cheap waste of time and you get sun.

Find an unsolved mystery in your area and work on solving it.

Start collecting pinecones, cool rocks, or used syringes.

Birdwatching can obliterate free-time and you might meet some widowed GILF to be your sugar momma.

Go places and give them Google or yelp reviews, be derrainged in your writing style like Hunter S Thompson with a head injury.

Take up meditation and have a false sense of superiority because you practice socially acceptable rotting with a calming mentally healthy spiritual guise.

Yoga is a thing, I’m sure you can make yoga pants look great.

Taxidermy roadkill armies don’t assemble themselves, you can even find a tabletop game event to unlease your army upon and meet new people. Worst case you learn about the criminal justice system and that will kill even more time.

Befriend a murder of crows and receive their gifts.

Valedictorian is a way, but plenty of valedictorians aren’t the smartest kid, just the smart one who had the motivation to become one.

Can’t even use SAT or ACT score to pick, because the smartest kid may not have cared enough to bother or try to do as well as they could.

Britain is a cultural kleptomaniac, not remove everyone who isn’t British from their lands and make everything British.

It is USD, but you are in Vietnam.

Concrete bags are usually two ply, but they are pretty thin. Most of the dust gets shot out the corner when you move them around, especially the ones with the tear-out corner for pouring. They do sell concrete in plastic bags though, great for wet weather but they can get kind of slick. For the bigger jobs you get a mixer truck delivery.

You know those machines that dispense stickers for quarters?

I have a road atlas in my car. Other than that, I will print out trail maps when backpacking.

To be clear, I don’t kill anyone. I only beat them until they will never recover enough to seek vengeance.

We can make it funnier. I have a resurrection artifact that is cursed, every time I am killed and get resurrected I age 5 years, but beating a human in unarmed combat makes me one year younger. There is no dying of old age, I keep coming back older. So either I am a feisty frail old man or I end up a kid that people have to kill because I don’t stop attacking until my 20s.