Yes, little brother vibes are good vibes. 👍

Apparently, it is not true

That is really cool! Especially with the watches. I was hoping there would be some video of the city my great grandparents lived in. It would be nice to be able to see what their life was like. Maybe I might even see them without knowing it, as I am not sure what they looked like.

You forgot to mention Slash in the title! Perfect way to trick my boyfriend into watching this. He loves Slash.

He looks eel!

I have a mother who used to act like she hated me a significant amount of time until a few years ago. I have a father who does not think I am that important. I used to think both of my parents hate me, or did not love me at least. I now have a more nuanced view of that. They are just people who are very damaged and almost handicapped in certain aspects. In any case, I think I might be able to understand your situation at least a little bit.

For me the most difficult part was not deciding whether to keep in touch with them or not. I mean, that is a very difficult decision and if your father is still hurting you, you should protect yourself. However, for me the most difficult thing is dealing with the damage.

I am not sure if this damaged you in the same way it damaged me. But if it did, I want to tell you that it is not your fault. Your father acting like he hates you is not because of anything you did and certainly not because of who you are. It is because of who he is.

A lot of children who are not loved or who are even hated by their parents think it is their fault. They think something is wrong with them and they deserve it. I mean, that makes sense, right? If it is your fault, then at least the world still is a fair place. And if something happens to a bad person you do not need to be compassionate, so you do not have to deal with any pain you are too little to be able to deal with. Also, you depend on your parents, so you cannot get too mad at them or leave. From the logic of a child, this makes sense.

And it works, it helps you survive. But once you get older, you keep thinking in the same way. You have a very low opinion of yourself and feel like there is something wrong with you or as if you are worthless. And to keep living in this way is familiar, you know you can survive that. You do not know whether you can survive the pain you suppressed all those years. Or it might still be so suppressed that you cannot even feel it. Until one day, it becomes too much and you start thinking that you might want a different life. You might not just want to survive, but actually live.

You do not discuss your mother. If you have a mother that was able to show you love, that might have had a protective effect. I hope so. But if you recognise this story in any way at all. I think it is import for you to know that it is not about accepting that your father hates you. It is about accepting that you are someone that did not deserve this. And that is very painful, but going through the pain of it, is the only way not to feel that anymore. It will free you from it and enable you to live more than survive.

It is a very difficult thing to do. I myself have not yet been able to go through the pain fully. It often feels too overwhelming, too much. However, after each small step I make, I already feel a little bit more free. I really think this is the way to cope with it. At least for me. It might help you as well maybe if you have similar feelings.

Edit to say that therapy can help a lot with this process. Others have said this as well, but I agree with them.

I have this and I have CPTSD. However, I am sure that there can be other causes as well.

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I can understand that it feels that this is the maximum you can cope with. But as long as you keep breathing, you still exist and you can cope. I can promise you that if you go through it instead of around it, it will get better. I cannot promise you exactly when or how high the peaks will be, but I can promise you that as long as you keep breathing you can cope.

My little sister died from anorexia, I had a miscarriage, my parents emotionally neglected and emotionally abused me as a child and several other traumatising stuff happened. I know pain. I do not underestimate yours. But this is how I dealt with it and I think it will help you too.

I sincerely feel for you. But the pain has a function. You need it to process and you need to feel it to eventually be able to make a new and happy life for yourself. Just keep breathing and go through the waves. I know you can do it.

Don’t drink. Cry. It sounds stupid, bit crying out all the pain might help. Do not run from it. Go through it and cry again if you need to. If you can do so safely, drive and scream in the car. Or break some stuff that you do not need anymore (like plates or something).

I have been through some traumatising stuff and the only thing that helps is not to run, but to go through it. I promise you, there will be a peak in pain and then it will reduce and the next peak will be less severe. This will go on and the pain will become less and less. As long as you keep breathing, you can handle it.

Me too.

They told me it was viewed as stealing the bikes and that that is why it was illegal. We never had any safety incidents as far as I know. We all could swim and there were not that many boats where we did this. Also, it was not that big of a fall if you would fall in. Maybe 2 meters or something?

I think it would be viewed as stealing the bikes. However, there was no way to give the bikes back to the people that owned them and we were cleaning the canals (we tried to throw anything else we found that was not usable in the trash, if possible). So, it shouldn’t have been illegal.

In my student years, we would use a rope with a hook on it and went to fish in the canals for bicycles. If we would find a good one, we put new tires on etc and maybe paint it a little. And in this way we got almost free bikes.

I think it was illegal though. So, there was someone on the lookout. If the police came we would quickly throw them back in the canal and try to act not suspiciously.

Maybe you are distracting yourself from something?

You actually found it. I was too lazy, bit I still wanted to know. Thanks!

Here it does a great job of reducing a text of 174 words to 172 words. 👍

(I do not want to complain too much. Usually it works and it is short enough for me to quickly read it.)

I can understand what you mean to say, I think. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy aims to change the way in which people suffering from depression think in order to cure them. It can be quite effective. However, in many cases with major depression different therapies, trauma treatment or medication is also required. In the worst cases, someone might need electroshocks.

I think the issue is that people with depression and people with eating disorders often get blamed for it and they often blame themselves. They are legitimately ill and it is not their fault, just like having any other condition is not your fault. However, due to society’s message of ‘just say no’ to depressive thoughts or food, they might keep on blaming themselves and feel like they are a failure and should just try harder. This can make them just fall deeper in the pit they are in, instead of getting the treatment they need.

I think the last part is not what you meant, but it sounded a bit that way.

I guess OP has never heard of eating disorders.

I do not want my data to be monetised at all and I try to limit my use of services that do monetise my data as much as possible. This means that I try to not use Google products, for example.

In some cases, I feel forced to use it because the consequences of doing so are too high. For example, almost all my friends and family use WhatsApp. If I do not use it, I will be harder for hem to communicate with and I would miss out on a lot of stuff which happens in groups. I am not sure to what extent WhatsApp uses my data, but it is part of Meta and I do not trust Meta at all. However, in this case, access to my friends and family is more important to me. Although I am quite angry about it and I will get out immediately once there is a law that obligates messaging apps to be able to communicate with each other.

I would share my data for other uses, if it is in the interest of society. For example, I would share it for some scientific research.