Cernunnos is a loving god and would never ask for such blasphemies.

Would love to see the original video if anyone has a link to it.

I don’t find it particularly funny, but I certainly enjoyed the vibe of the entire skit.

For me it’s less about my knowledge vs. theirs, and more about get the fuck away from me and stop trying to make a sale.

They’re like horseflies circling around your head repeatedly, even though you’ve politely shooed them away multiple times. There is a furniture/appliance chain in Canada called The Brick that is hands-down the worst offender for pushy salesmen. I haven’t gone into one in years because every time I do I wind up wanting to scream and hurl an ottoman through the front window.

I firmly believe this is one of the main reasons retail is dying. I’m willing to pay the markup for the convenience of buying a product and having it in-hand today, but when I enter a mall and there are vultures on every corner trying to make small-talk and casually direct me to today’s hot deals, I want nothing to do with it.

This reminds me of the early 00s, when being “lol so wandom” was cool. The worst one I can remember hearing was my cousin saying (completely out of the blue), “Yeah, and then like a car goes busting through the window and lands in a Hot Pocket…”

I had actually used DALL-E not long ago to try to generate what he was talking about.

That’s the Fart Monster 2k.

Veggie ball is full of pieces of corn, bell pepper, onion, etc. It’s colorful inside and out. Tastes heavily of those things too. The plant-based ball resembles a brown meatball in both appearance and consistency, but made entirely with plant-based ingredients. They’re awesome on a bun with marinara and mozzarella.

It’s actually wild how insecure people get over the subject of veganism. I still browse Facebook as a lifeline back to my friends and family back home, and for some reason my algorithm serves me up pro-meat posts jam packed full of rednecks losing their minds over vegans and making piles of meat and juice their personality. I eat meat myself (albeit in very small quantities compared to before) and I just don’t get the insecurity.

Maybe it’s being married to a lifelong vegetarian that helps, but man, I’ve honestly come to enjoy a lot of meat alternatives. Beyond Burgers/Sausages are great. IKEA’s plant-based balls are too (their veggie balls still suck ass and just taste like bell peppers). Gardein’s supreme chick’n nuggets/fillets and 7-grain tenders are also delicious.

Shit has really come a long way and it’s gotten to where larger portions of meat actually rip my intestines apart and give me disgusting bouts of gas and bloating. Basically just down to the occasional fast food burger, chicken quesadillas and seafood. Meat is still really tasty, but the vegans are right. At this point we’re just eating it because it tastes good. The longer I go without relying on it, the more fucked up the entire industry becomes to me.

STOP POSTING PICTURES OF THE SCROLLS! I swear this generation is reckless for upvotes. I only caught a glimpse and I saw the position I’m going to be shitting in when I die.

Mastodon overwhelmed me. I hopped on the website and had no idea what I was looking at. I didn’t understand federation. I basically had the option of what niche hobby to join on Mastadon and no indication that I would he able to access a broader forum, so I said “Well, this fucking sucks.” and left.

Threads and BlueSky are likely as accessible as making an account and you’re done.

A schmetterling is the approximate amount of shit one spackles into the bowl of the toilet after a particularly fibrous day. It’s not so much that it clogs the plumbing or anything, but it certainly leaves a schmetterling of evidence behind for the next man to attempt to knock loose with his stream.

A very beautiful word.

I’m more of a Mephisto guy myself, but it never hurts to run Baal.

Someone has had me on his physical jokemail list for nearly a year now and I love it. The best part is most of the weird shit is fully visible to the poor courier delivering it.

🎵 Fruit and vegetables keep us alive… 🎵

(OP imagining the invention of the hamburger)

“HOW EVER CAN WE EAT THIS GLISTENING PUCK OF MEAT WITHOUT GETTING OUR HANDS ALL GREASY?!”

I perceive remaining time much better with an analogue clock. It’s also why I perceive time in fractions. I think it’s the superior clock, and people should probably learn to fucking read one since they’re everywhere.

I also think it’s kind of insane that we’re not at least learning how to read cursive in schools anymore. There are countless documents written in English that English speakers will not be able to properly decipher.

Fuck Mr. Beast. The real heroes worthy of praise are your friends and neighbors who are out there volunteering and/or doing good things for others without making a fucking spectacle of it.

Mr. Beast with his bucky ass face and products plastered on every last corner of the earth has left a bad taste in my mouth for years, but up until recently people have been unable to criticize him in any way without a thousand others rushing to his defense and declaring what a beautiful, selfless person he is. It’s Ellen all over again.

People truly are blinded by philanthropy-for-clout and mistake it for genuine goodwill. Truly good people do not film themselves handing out food and money.

DINESAWS!

https://youtu.be/z52dAvk7l7k?si=Vw_h-cAFq8qCofs0

Le reddit we did it doggos!