• Katana314@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      With the rate of obsessive angry men in the world, I’d be amazed at any woman brave enough to give a straight “No” instead of a nonspecific answer used to get themselves out of the situation.

      People aren’t just dealing with ”No”, but “No, and the chances that you’re a rapist are high enough I’m now scared of you and won’t give you a straight answer”.

        • Katana314@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          I wouldn’t claim recipients of rejection are “victims”, since being rejected is a perfectly normal interaction; but this is so close to victim blaming it’s not even funny.

          I’m reminded of playing through Class of 09, and 60% of the endings resulting in people claiming “If everyone is ganging up on you, Nicole, then maybe you’re the one at fault?” Real smooth judicial logic there.

          • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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            9 months ago

            The victims here would be the people who are so uncomfortable with someone’s actions that they believe they’re being accosted by a rapist.

      • WoahWoah@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Yeah that’s fair. “No” in this case is just if you try to see if someone wants to do more than just occasionally and/or randomly see each other. That happens when you’re trying to make new friends, etc.

        There’s a lot of ways to say no. I just meant it generally. But I feel you.

        The overwhelming majority of men aren’t rapists. But the overwhelming majority of rapists are men.

        You’re smart and insightful, and even though maybe sometimes people don’t see it, I see it. And this was an important comment to make. Thank you for your bravery. Truly.

        • Katana314@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Do you want a friend, or a relationship? That seems very unclear from your phrasing.

          The least you can do for people is be honest. Even if it leads to mild rejection heartbreak, it’s dishonest and hurtful to falsely claim you just want a friendship. Some women are just trying to make friends so they have people to fall back on socially, and find out the only three people they hang out with planned to get into their pants at some point. That’s not good for anyone.

          • WoahWoah@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            No, I’m in a very long and stable relationship, and I have many very wonderful friends. I do enjoy meeting new people, though. You seem super nice, but I’m all set, but thank you so much for asking! You’re so sweet! 🥰

            • Katana314@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              I really would’ve thought the context of being in a conversation about how people gain relationships would’ve made clear I was asking about ‘what you’re seeking’ when you give this theoretical relationship advice, rather than suddenly attempting a lifelong connection via internet comments, but hey, whatever floats your ego (even if that’s clicking a ‘down’ button).