My country and western writing skills are rusty, but here’s a little something in 3/4 time.

On the porch after dark,

We had been marked,

And a thief crept through the night.

Mawmaw heard a noise,

Said “Stay behind me boys”,

And grabbed a roman candle to light,

---

She flung open the door,

In her night gown and swore,

At the man who was stealing our tires

She puffed a Virginia slim,

Pointed fireworks at him,

And then proceeded to open fire.

---

Mawmaw you are my hero,

You ran him off and he’s gone without a trace,

If he hadn’t turned and fled, he’d be better off dead,

'cause you’d have burned off his face.